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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

I was completly (not) underwhelmed

Oh even before my chance meeting avec K.Lagerfeld today I met Jay on Saturday on 14tf Street. Dsc00921 Dsc00922 I asked him if he was going to the Black Party, you know considering he seemed tres into Kara Suan's leather craftiness, but he quipped back with a "does it look like any of this is my scene" as he waved his denim draped arm over the village like a queen surveying her queendom. Jay was extremly cool theaux and I thought that he was the kind of freeky funster that seems to be all but gone from New York these days. So welcome to New York Jay. Enjoy working for Banana Republique (he joked "Its just an internship"). You are in. Make fashion happen.

Karl Bloggerfeld

So anyways, my assistant came shrieking into the showroom today and said there was an unusal collezione of Japanese girls and rabid photographers clustered around Chanel down the block from where I work. Why I ask, and he comes back with those now frothy words I immediately absorbed " Karl Lagerfeld is doing a shoot on the sidewalk".

Leave desk, run down Wooster. Join the mobbe of gorgeousness. Again, this is why I live here. Anyways there was zero security as Karl Slimman erratically but gently barked a series of kind orders to some FYT (fierce young thing) working about 10 feet of sidewalk. It was all very quiet and delirious, as Karl and his dizzy asssitants uploaded the freshly shot images to a Powerbook and continued the process for about another 10 minutes, until he apparently got bored and giddily retreated around the corner into the entrance of the Chanel store. Dsc00935 Slowly the small crowd gently drifted in his direction like we were following Jesus or something, when he turned around and warmly greeted his fans. Bien sur, I was the first to say hi like a drunk American tourist, but I haven't had my Jamba Juice yet today and I was feeling light headed. Anyways this is how our conversation went.... I KID YOU NAUGHT!

RK: Karl, I love your book.

KL: Which one...I have written three....

RK : The diet book

KL: It's not available yet in America.

RK: I know, it's coming out in May....

KL: Well hopefully it works for you!

Delirious hipsters chuckle,I'm totes dying....

RK: laughing...what can I say, I'm American.....can I get a picture!?

Before this I had passed my $600 camera (duh) to some random hipster in the crowd , who snaps my picture, and asks me to pose again.... GENIUS.Dsc00936 Dsc00937 

KL: We can call this Before and After.....

RK: I know, right... you're the Before!

Karl sips her wine, and chuckles.... I shook his hand and I discreetly jet with my wundeful souvenir.

I rarely get starstruck but I had to run to see this... He worked, as always, some crazed 17th century leather queen dominatrix look avec multichains dangling across his skeletal frame and that heavily powdered perruche that positively gleemed in the crisp spring air... or was that the smell of his ridiculously liquored bref? Regardless I got to basque in the glow of His Highness today and can't wait to start my wine and cigarette diet in May!!

Friday, March 11, 2005

MEAN QUEENS

Man oh man, how fuggin cranky are these over 40 (inch waist) faggy popstars from the 80's that are gracing us with their acerbic barbs aimed at each other. I thought I was gonna die from laffter when US Weekly did a cover about how Elton Johnne has lost her mind, but trumping that is Boy George, aka The Chin (I mean the Twin), with today's brutal bruising of Madonna, Elton, Rosie, and everyone thats not in the Trinity... (or should they call it the Chinity) in Page Six.

Chin Untitled God everytime I see her out I wanna just vomit. It's not bad enough that Ms. George has bastardized everyone from Leigh Bowery (makeup is art) to Terry Richardson (porn is art) and Heatherette (fashion is art), but now he's dumping all that self righteousness into a new tell all memoir, called Straight, which of kers I have to read. I mean I'd rather read The Karl Lagerfeld Diet Book, for for fucks sake It STILL not available here in the US. How much longer will I have to MAC up my chin til that tome drops stateside.

OH and speaking of being fat, I got a text message from Ms. Hawk at the Gay VN's last nite about how once fat now flat queen Jackie Beat was KILLING with what has to be her funniest stuff in years. Jacqui I CANNOT wait til she gets here this weekend for her sad final show at fav downtown space Fez for  "Jackie Beat : The Goodbye Girl". Finally a queen that has nice things to say about people.......

Monday, March 07, 2005

SAVE TOBY!

Over a raucous mashup of drinx and laffs on Friday, good friend Javier told me about the most disturbing/amazing website of recent memory... Le premise est simple... Basically this guy needs to raise some money and if he doesn't get it, he's gonna kill Toby. I immediately thought it was Ms. Vividblurry's stawker but no such luck (i'm totes kidding VB), this Toby was a j'adorable bunny that was on the verge of becoming a succulent goulash. Check out http://www.savetoby.com/ for all the fun and sickness.Bunny

Speaking of bunnies, my pet bunny who lives on top of the TV in my room is doing fine after a devastating fall earlier this week. I may set up a Paypal account for his extensive medical fees.

Friday, March 04, 2005

BREAKING NEWS: 7day week reduced just to Sunday

If you thought housewifes were the most desperate people of 2005, try taking a look at the gay geniuses that have a velvet vicegrip on the nelly nightlife of this city...namely, why the F is everything, EVERYTHING, on Sundays now? It used to be good enough to join the true alcoholiques at the Eagle for Sunday Beer/Bear Blast and if you weren't totes wasted after that you might try to score at The Rambles. Any good guppie would be in bed by midnite anyways if they had anything ressembling a job that required *gasp* to be there on Mondays. But (G) LO AND BEHOLD in the spirit of competition and driving fags even more mental, everyone is putting all their energy into having a Sunday night party, making the rest of the week a pathetic path to nowhere. Joining the Eagle and Rambles, in no less than three months we've had to endure Cuckoo Club at Hiro (fun), the Marytime Hotel (boring), the LoungeWhore at Quo (gross), somecrap at Glo (closed), Estate/Avalon/Limelight/(scary), now just today they annouced that my alltime favorite Trannyshack will be wonderfully watered down at Splash of all places on Sundays (ewww)...Is it no wonder they all close after two weeks because of...hmm, low attendance. Please people, open up a goddamn calendar and discover the joy of days other than Sunday.